Friday, August 13, 2010

Defining Love Part II

Can real love truly be unconditional? This would mean that one party could do and say anything to the other without regard for human dignity and feelings. Healthy relationships cannot exist where there is control, disrespect and manipulation by one or both partners.

The most important ingredients for a successful relationship are respect, allowance and non-judgment. Easy to say, but sometimes not so easy to remember and accomplish.

Without malice, we each believe our way is the right way, but it is important to not project our feelings onto our partner. Each individual comes with his or her own way of approaching tasks -- the way that feels most comfortable for him or her. It is essential for each partner to not make the other feel inadequate, wrong, or "less than", if tasks are not approached in the same manner. Acceptance without judgment and an allowance for individuality will eventually narrow the gap between how life situations are approached.

Although sometimes sounding like hackneyed dribble, truly, the most important concept to remember is that until you can love yourself, it is virtually impossible to love another.

If you cannot be generous and caring toward yourself, you cannot act that way toward another. It is not selfish to take care of yourself first. It is only a whole and emotionally healthy person who is strong enough to enter a true partnership relationship.

So ... take the time for yourself to grow and evolve by becoming friends with your inner being. Know yourself, and you will be able to know others in a deep and connective manner. Keep the spirit alive within yourself and for yourself, and your light will be a beacon for others to find you and connect.

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