Friday, February 10, 2012

Finding Love After Loss: Personal Development

Before you can be successful in your search for a new partner with whom you can build a successful, healthy and long-lasting relationship, it is necessary to spend some time in personal development.

Activities and actions that can further your personal development can include the following.

Take a class. These can expand your base of knowledge, or you can take them just for fun. This activity can bring joy to your life.

Travel. Learn about different native cultures and discover that you are only one part of a much bigger world. This helps to put your personal issues in perspective.

Try something new. Step out of your box and stretch those creative muscles.

In truth, personal development can be anything that broadens your horizons and allows you to look at yourself and the world in new and different ways.

With that definition in mind, you don’t even have to leave your house! For example, quieting your mind and spending some time in meditative and introspective thought can allow you to take giant leaps in your personal development. It can be the impetus for you to approach your issues in a different manner.

As you work on better understanding yourself … because that is what you need to do before you attempt to understand anybody else … keep in mind the following three concepts.

1. For new behaviors to become ingrained in your daily patterns, you need consistent reinforcement without exceptions. For example, you are starting a new exercise program in which you participate three times a week. You keep to it 100% for the first two weeks. Then something comes up the third week and you just can’t fit it in, but you think, “That’s okay. I’ll make an exception this week.” But this happens the next week and the next week until there are more exceptions to your routine than the routine itself. Remember that routines need constant consistency to stick and to become your “new normal.”

2. As you are completing new tasks or incorporating new ideas into your train of thought, make sure to pat yourself on the back for doing so. As these new routines become – well, routine – it’s easy to forget how impressive it is that you’ve managed to bring beneficial change to your life. If you are feeling like you haven’t really accomplished that much, look over your shoulder to see where you were a year ago, a month ago, even a week ago. This will illustrate how far you have really progressed.

3. Be kind and patient with yourself. We live in a hurry-up world and want results instantaneously. Look at all the advertisements that abound, such as: Lose inches overnight! Look 10 years younger in one month! These claims seem to be a little exaggerated, although there is probably someone who is getting these results. However, these are external changes and sometimes those are easier to produce than internal changes. In actuality, there must be internal change – or a change in perspective and thinking – before external change can take place. Your mind is powerful and once you consciously decide to institute change, it will happen. The “how” it will happen is the fine print or the details.

I can’t express strongly enough that if you want to have successful relationships, romantic or otherwise, you need to spend time in reflective thought to figure out who you are and what you want.

If you want to learn how to be successful in the dating arena, check out my newest book, Understanding Dating and Relationships From A to Z. In 26 concepts (from A to Z), I explain how you can be successful in the dating arena. 

It's a Kindle book, but you don’t even need a Kindle reader to get it. Click to download a free reading app from Amazon and you can read it on your computer, IPad, or another electronic device.

For a limited time, I am offering a free e-book version for those who will write a review of the book on E-mail me and let me know you are interested or contact me via the Love After Loss page on Facebook

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