Friday, January 20, 2012

Finding Love After Loss: Positivity Wins Every Time

The other day on Facebook, I posted the following quote by Brahma Kumaris, and I feel it is worth further exploration.

“The more we develop the habit of noticing goodness,
the more our own sense of well-being rises.”

I believe that this thought is at the essence of leading a life filled with positivity.

We often take for granted the small acts of kindness that others perform for us. Additionally, caught up in our own busy lives, we also don’t take the time to thank others for a job well done. When we disregard or don’t adequately recognize the “good works” that surround us every day, we negate the benefits we can derive from these positive actions that are streaming toward us.

So, if you are feeling sad or overly negative toward life because you are single and rather you were coupled, you may be building an impenetrable cloud around you.

Recently, I met two single women in their fifties. Both were attractive, well-groomed, intelligent, and self-supporting. When I mentioned what I do, soon the conversation turned to dating. Both women complained about the caliber of the men they were meeting. Their demeanor was quite hardened as they went on to say they wouldn’t even give a man a chance if he is not monetarily successful or if his looks are not up to par. When I tried to make some suggestions for a shift in perspective, they didn’t seem that interested.

After a while, all I heard was blah, blah, blah; however, what I felt emanating from them was negativity. And I knew exactly why they weren’t meeting the men of their dreams.

Even if their words turned positive, their attitude was negative. This energy took on a life of its own and it is the type that pushes people away vs. pulling them in.

If you recognize this attitude as one that you may be holding, you are self-perpetuating your singleness.

What are some ways to turn your thoughts towards positivity? 

Be C.R.I.S.P!

C is for COMMIT
Commit to self improvement. If you’re not happy with some facet of your being or your life circumstances, instead of complaining, commit to making beneficial changes to improve your life. To start, choose one thing that you will do differently and commit to making that change every day for at least 30 days (preferably 60-90 days). This is the amount of time it will take to ingrain this habit in your daily life.

R is for RESPECT
Respect your body. Eat healthy foods. Exercise in whatever form fits your health and lifestyle. When the body is healthy and you feel good about how you look, this naturally influences your energy level and outlook on every aspect of your life. All our systems are interrelated and that is why it is important to focus on the mind/body connection.

Incorporate creativity in your daily life. Paint. Sing. Dance. Write. Whatever it is for you, find an activity that brings you joy.

S is for STOP
Stop and smell the roses. You’ve heard the old saying, “all work and no play makes you a dull girl/boy.” It also drains you and creates an imbalance in your personal/professional life. Sometimes, you just need to STOP and take a deep breath! Remaining still can allow you to really see what is in front of you. Try meditation. Step away from your electronics. Learn to say “No” to things you don’t want to do (that aren’t necessary).

Pay attention. Wake up … physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Beauty surrounds you every day. Learn to recognize it in all its forms. Live in gratitude.

These five precepts are part of living a spiritual life. For more of my thoughts on spirituality, read my new Kindle book: “Understanding Spirituality From A to Z” which gives you 26 spiritual tenets that can help you find your place and purpose in life.

Free download of the book available 
January 21st and January 22nd at this link:

You don’t even need a Kindle to read the book. There is a free app for your computer that you can download on the linked page.

No comments:

Post a Comment