Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Sex As An Expression of Love

In The Psychology of Romantic Love, What Love Is, Why Love Is Born, Why It Sometimes Grows, Why It Sometimes Dies, Dr. Branden differentiates between love and sex.

“Sex and love, though related, are obviously different. We recognize that sexual desire does not necessarily entail love. We recognize that gratifying sexual experiences can occur without great love. That is not the point. We recognize also that the greatest and most intense sexual experiences occur in the context of love, occur as an expression of love.

When sex is experienced as a vehicle for self worship and for the worship of our partner; when sex is experienced as expression of our aliveness, of our joy in being, then a major road has been opened to the fulfillment of romantic love.

Through the giving and receiving of sexual pleasure lovers continually reaffirm that they are a source of joy to each other. Joy is a nutrient of love: it makes love grow.”

And although a sexually passionate relationship is a wonderful thing, eventually, you do have to get out of bed. And if you don’t like each other out of bed, then even the best sexual gymnastics will not be able to keep a relationship alive for the long term.

Dr. Branden continues,“While acknowledging the importance of sexual passion, the fact remains that sexual passion alone cannot sustain a couple across a lifetime, cannot provide a sufficient support for all the weight a relationship must carry. Only admiration can do that. The admiration between two people is the most powerful support system a relationship can have, the most powerful foundation."

Here is my thoughts on sex and love ...


Making love is a sacred trust given to each other by two committed partners.

It says I am yours and you are mine alone,
and I can feel safe with both my body and mind unrobed.

Without this willingness to let down barriers and defenses,

then one cannot truly experience the ultimate gift of reciprocal love.

This trust allows each time partners come together to be as magical as the very first time.

That exciting moment when skin touches skin fire is ignited as lovers
look deeply into each other’s eyes and slowly the dance of love begins.

Where there is only lust, the body is simply caressed,

but, when there is love, the soul is also nurtured and made to soar.

Serious yet fun.

A time to revel in all one’s senses, and to feel

that you and your partner are the only ones who could possibly feel this alive.

There is no greediness, no embarrassment, no rush for satisfaction,
for your own satisfaction comes in making your partner reach the pinnacle of ecstasy and to have pleasure become a long lasting cascading fountain.

Lovemaking is like the ocean tide, as it slowly ebbs and flow and then reaches its crescendo as the waves come tumbling in -- crashing over each other in exuberance and joy.

And just as the tide goes out to sea and the ocean becomes calm once again,
the lover lies replete
arm in arm — feeling serene, so very safe, and ready to face the world knowing that this island of tranquility exists and can be revisited in a moment’s time.

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