Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Letting Go of Regrets

For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 
'It might have been.'
John Greenleaf Whittier

Are you experiencing feelings of regret? Are you stuck in could have, would have, should have thinking? And, are these holding you back from moving forward in your life and towards finding a new romantic partner?

As we near the end of 2010, take this opportunity to examine your life choices so that you may resolve any lingering regrets. This will allow you to step into the new year with a fresh slate ... ready, willing and able to reach your goals.

With your "baggage" tightly packed into the carry-on size, you can think about what you want to accomplish. One way to clarify what you want is to write a Life Mission Statement.

1. Think about what you consider to be the most important to you in life. Choose 3 items and write them down. Here are a few examples, although there are many more from which to choose.
"I want"
...to be content
...to embrace spirituality
...to be indendent in thought
...to be a true friend and for it to be reciprocated
...to be wise or have a mature understanding of life
...to have a pleasurable life
...to have excitement in my life
...to experience world peace
...to find mature love
...to have the ability to make a contribution
...to feel needed
...to feel inner harmony
...to have a comfortable life (security)
...to have self respect
...to be socially recognized

2. For each of the three you have chosen, write down three ways you demonstrate this value in your life and three ways you feel it in your soul. (see the example below after #4)

3. Choose the top answer in each category and use it in the following sentence.
In my life I am committed to _____________, _______________, and ______________. I choose to have that show up in my life by my commitment to ___________, _____________, and ________________. I demonstrate these values through _________________, ______________________, and ____________________________.

4. Read your statement aloud and refine it as necessary. You can start each day with your Mission Statement to help you focus on what is most important to you in life. Then go out and make it happen!

My Top 3 Values: Spirituality, Freedom and Mature Love
How I Demonstrate Each of These
Spirituality: writing, being kind/helpful, meditation
Freedom: walking to my own drumbeat, constructing my life journey, continually learning
Mature Love: behaving nicely, respecting other, listening to others

How I Feel About Each of These
Spirituality: accepting, recognizing my inner knowing, being present
Freedom: remaining uncluttered, connected to nature, releasing expectations
Mature Love: be at peace, be in acceptance, be responsive

Choosing from the above list, my Life Mission Statement might read:
In my life I am committed to spirituality, freedom and mature love. I choose to have that show up in my life by my commitment to recognizing my inner knowing, living a life that is not cluttered with negative thoughts (or by living in a state of positivity), and living in acceptance of my partner. I demonstrate these values through writing, walking to my own drumbeat, and behaving nicely.

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