When you spot a woman to whom you feel an attraction, what’s your first thought and, subsequently, your first move?
Do you turn away due to a fear of rejection or, worse yet, approach her with a tired pick-up line like the one Joey used on the television show “Friends”?
Both of the preceding are bad ideas and they will not encourage a positive response from a woman. Approaching people with whom you desire to start a conversation is really all about exhibiting a confident demeanor (even if you’re shaking in your boots inside!).
Here are 10 tips that can enhance your success ratio.
1. Smile. A smile is your most attractive quality. It allows you to seem accessible, friendly and non-threatening.
2. Stand up straight. Poor posture and shuffling as you approach creates an aura of negativity and can be indicative of poor self-esteem.
3. Show your confidence. One way this can be illustrated is by not being hesitant in your actions. Know what (and who) you want. Rather than taking multiple sneak peeks and then pretending you weren’t doing so, approach a woman soon after you notice her.
4. Maintain eye contact. If you manage to start a conversation with a woman, pay attention to her. Don’t let your eyes wander to see if there is someone better on the horizon.
5. Be a gentleman. Be courteous while using please and thank you. If it’s applicable, hold out a chair for a woman or open a door.
6. It’s not so much what you say but how you say it. You can say the same thing in two different tones of voice, and the recipient will get a different message each time. Be aware of the modulation of your voice. Don’t let it be too booming in an enclosed area or too wimpy in a noisy arena.
7. Body language also plays a big part in how a message is received. Make sure not to take a threatening stance. Don’t be too close a talker, such as the character in the Seinfeld episode about this matter. Learn to respect a person’s boundaries, for leaning in too close to a person you just met makes most very uncomfortable as you impinge on their space.
8. Use your active listening skills. Don’t play out a conversation in your head with pre-thought out lines. Remain in the moment, pay attention to what a woman is saying and make sure to respond appropriately.
9. Don’t go too fast. If you seem overeager, you may frighten a prospective date away. Strike a balance between being interested in pursuing further contact and acting like a stalker!
10. If all else fails, don’t worry about being interesting. Simply be interested in the person to whom you are speaking.
To learn more about dating, check out my book, “Understanding Dating and Relationships From A to Z.” Click here to purchase.
Read the Introduction and an excerpt here.
For more tips on how to date with success, click here.