Friday, May 4, 2012

Establish Healthy Patterns In Your Relationships

"Learn from yesterday; 
live for today; 
hope for tomorrow. 
The important thing is not to stop questioning." 
~Albert Einstein 

The patterns deeply imbedded in your subconscious from the many yesterdays that came before today can only be overcome by your willingness to address them day after day. 

For example, if your last relationship was filled with dysfunction, you must remember to remain on high alert in order to avoid the easy slide back into this pattern. Although you may rationally disdain the dysfunction, it is a familiar way for you to look at the world, and, unfortunately, comfort is sometimes found in that feeling. You can actually be comfortable with your uncomfortableness. 

It is up to each individual to avoid becoming a victim of his or her own circumstances and to stop the cycle of repeated mistakes. 

The first step is to RECOGNIZE your unhealthy patterns and to discover their root cause.

Next, RELEASE these thoughts so that you don’t attract similar circumstances back into your life. 

Finally, if you are confronted with them again, learn to RESPOND in a changed manner so you reap a better result. 

You can stop making the mistakes of yesterday with self-awareness, a change in perspective, and a proactive and positive attitude. 

When you are ready to begin a new relationship, it is very important to establish healthy patterns at the outset. 

For example, don’t believe that you have to act like a doormat or never say no to your partner in order for him/her to fall in love with you. If this is the pattern you establish at the outset, you are going to be hard pressed to change direction when you eventually start feeling drained by this submissive behavior. Your partner may balk, if you want to change the game plan into which that he/she bought. And he/she has every right to be upset, for the expectation was apples and now there are only oranges. 

Remember to greet your partner with the person you want to be throughout your relationship and NOT with behaviors that will end in eventual dysfunction.

A portion of this post is an excerpt from my book "Understanding Spirituality From A to Z" which is available as a Kindle or Nook book as well as an e-book via my website.

In an easy-to-read format, learn how to start on the path of self-discovery in order to recognize your place and purpose in life.

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