Friday, April 6, 2012

Align Your Goals To Find Love After Loss

How aligned are you with your goal of finding a new romantic partner?

Sally Stamp, a leadership coach, suggests that “when we explore alignment, it may help to think in metaphor about the steering on your car.

When your steering is aligned, you can keep the vehicle on the road with a slight touch on the wheel. If you happen to hit a curb or other road hazard, your steering may suddenly be less effective, and the car can have a tendency to pull to one side or the other.

When the car is out of alignment, driving can be more difficult and even dangerous.”

Let’s apply this to the world of dating.

If your steering, or inner guidance, is aligned with your goals then the road that can lead you to success in the romantic world is clearly outlined.

An aligned state of mind might be as follows.

1. Your eyes are wide open, which enables you to recognize all the opportunities that lie in front of you.

2. Your focus is also honed, which allows you to take the next step, which is acting on these recognized opportunities.

3. You are also willing to make the time and exert the appropriate effort that seeking a life partner involves.

4. You have a positive attitude and KNOW that there is someone for you. You are willing to allow your story to unfold vs. forcing it to happen on your timetable.

An unaligned state of mind might be as follows.

1. You walk with your head down, unaware of and oblivious to the everyday wonders that surround you, which could include a prospective mate.

2. Your words and actions are not in sync. That is, you say you want a new partner, but your actions belie your words. For example, this could include making excuses to push all prospects away.

3. You have not worked through your last relationship and still hold either positive or negative attachments to it. This can anchor you in the past, causing guilt to arise, or you may drag past issues into new relationships.

4. You have a negative attitude and believe that you will never find a new partner. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Complete a self-evaluation to see where you fall on this issue.

Are you aligned or misaligned? Determine if your attitude needs a minor tune-up or a major overhaul. If you really want to find a life partner and you’re not having any luck in doing so, you must take action and be willing to do the emotional, physical, spiritual and mental work it requires.

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