Friday, July 8, 2011

Finding Love After Loss: An Option or A Requirement?

In order to live a fulfilling life, do you believe being part of a monogamous relationship is a requirement or simply one path of many to follow?

In years past, women needed men more than today. On the financial front, women are now more able to take care of their monetary needs by themselves. On the motherhood front, women can now have the child of their dreams via a sperm bank and without being personally involved with the father.

So, if women don't require a man in their life, do they really want one?

To me, it seems that a lot of women think the idea of having a relationship is more appealing than actually having one. And the reason I say that is because there seems to be a lot of man-bashing going on. This negativity actually promulgates the idea that there are no good men to be found, for what we project out into the world reflects back to us. We also seek confirmation for our belief system and so a lack of men or men who are cads becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

How can one possibly "see" and welcome good guys into her life, if she is blinded by a belief system that says no one is good enough for her.

What is necessary is to realize that men and women have two very different ways of approaching the world. Their needs and desires, the way they process their emotions and the way they handle issues are all very different from women. Since women tend to "like" (or feel more comfortable around) people and situations that are familiar to them, men can get relegated to a discard category.

In order to find the man of your dreams, it is necessary to adjust the lens with which the world of men is viewed to one that is kinder and gentler. In truth, the liberation of women may have swung too far on the pendulum. With their new freedoms, women are far less accepting of men's foibles than vice versa. Choose to learn more about gender differences and accept that the differences as a good thing. Once you reach a plain of understanding about the opposite sex, you interactions can be more pleasurable than painful.

In the next couple of weeks, I will share some fascinating information about gender differences.

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