10 Tips on How To Pick Up Women The Right Way

When you spot a woman to whom you feel an attraction, what’s your first thought and, subsequently, your first move? 

Do you turn away due to a fear of rejection or, worse yet, approach her with a tired pick-up line like the one Joey used on the television show “Friends”?  

Both of the preceding are bad ideas and they will not encourage a positive response from a woman. Approaching people with whom you desire to start a conversation is really all about exhibiting a confident demeanor (even if you’re shaking in your boots inside!). 

Here are 10 tips that can enhance your success ratio. 

1. Smile. A smile is your most attractive quality. It allows you to seem accessible, friendly and non-threatening. 

2. Stand up straight. Poor posture and shuffling as you approach creates an aura of negativity and can be indicative of poor self-esteem. 

3. Show your confidence. One way this can be illustrated is by not being hesitant in your actions. Know what (and who) you want. Rather than taking multiple sneak peeks and then pretending you weren’t doing so, approach a woman soon after you notice her. 

4. Maintain eye contact. If you manage to start a conversation with a woman, pay attention to her. Don’t let your eyes wander to see if there is someone better on the horizon. 

5. Be a gentleman. Be courteous while using please and thank you. If it’s applicable, hold out a chair for a woman or open a door. 

6. It’s not so much what you say but how you say it. You can say the same thing in two different tones of voice, and the recipient will get a different message each time. Be aware of the modulation of your voice. Don’t let it be too booming in an enclosed area or too wimpy in a noisy arena. 

7. Body language also plays a big part in how a message is received. Make sure not to take a threatening stance. Don’t be too close a talker, such as the character in the Seinfeld episode about this matter. Learn to respect a person’s boundaries, for leaning in too close to a person you just met makes most very uncomfortable as you impinge on their space. 

8. Use your active listening skills. Don’t play out a conversation in your head with pre-thought out lines. Remain in the moment, pay attention to what a woman is saying and make sure to respond appropriately. 

9. Don’t go too fast. If you seem overeager, you may frighten a prospective date away. Strike a balance between being interested in pursuing further contact and acting like a stalker! 

10. If all else fails, don’t worry about being interesting. Simply be interested in the person to whom you are speaking. 

To learn more about dating, check out my book, “Understanding Dating and Relationships From A to Z.”  Click here to purchase.

Read the Introduction and an excerpt here. 

For more tips on how to date with success, click here.

12 Fun Facts About Dating

Here are 12 random facts about dating that I found interesting. Hope you do, too!

1. According to member statistics at Match.com, 44% of its members in the U.S. have children. Additionally, 92% of single parents would rather date other single parents. (Janis Spindel, matchmaker) 

2. If men are having a difficult time deciding what to wear on a date, they might want to choose something blue. Studies show that women are attracted to men in blue. (from “How To Pick Up, Seduce, and Hook Up With Hot Women”) 

3. Here’s a statistic from N.C. Warren in “Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons.” 33% of online daters form a relationship; 33% do not; and 33% give up. 

4. Mirroring, or repeating someone’s body language, often impresses a date because it subtly conveys interest to the other person, although copying every move is a little bit over the top. (from “Flirtology: Over 100 Ways To Release Your Inner Flirt”) 

5. Choosing exciting places for a first date increases the chances of the other person falling for you. There is a definitive link between danger and physical and/or romantic attraction.(from “Flirtology: Over 100 Ways To Release Your Inner Flirt”) 

6. Worst places to go on first date include fast-food restaurants, your kids’ birthday party or school play, your parents’ house, strip clubs, X-rated films or swingers parties, a party where your ex will be, church activities, or window shopping. (from “Flirtology: Over 100 Ways To Release Your Inner Flirt”) 

Offering you the world.

7. In American society, when a man offers his date his palm face up, he is most likely deeply attracted to the woman. In fact, a human’s brain is wired to respond to hand gestures and hand shapes, though the brain’s response depends on the man or woman’s culture and ethnicity. (Steve Santagati, in “The MANual”)

8. Body language studies show that revealing areas of the body that aren’t usually on display (such as the inner wrist, the inside of the upper arm, ankles, feet, inside calf muscle, and the nape of the neck) has an immediate effect on a date and shows an instant liking. (from “Flirtology: Over 100 Ways To Release Your Inner Flirt”) 

9. Depending on the type of women a man would like to meet, he should visit that type of clothing store. For example, if a man likes “outdoorsy” women, he should go to an outdoor clothing store. (Steve Santagati, in “The MANual”) 

10. Men, here’s how to read a woman’s body language. If a woman is interested in her date, she will often smile at his jokes, play with her hair, fidget with an object such as a glass, blush when he pays her a compliment, pout or pucker her mouth, stumble over words, or lean in towards him. Signs that a woman is not interested in her date include avoiding eye contact, faking a smile or not smiling, leaning away, answering in monosyllables, sagging her shoulders, looking at her watch, tapping her foot, or staring blankly. (Victoria Zdrock in “How To Pick Up, Seduce, and Hook Up With Hot Women”) 

11. If a group of women are standing together but their eyes are wandering, they are likely to be looking for guys. If they each take a turn to break away from the group to head to the bathroom alone, they are on the prowl. If they are huddled together giggling, they are usually not interested in finding men. (Dushan Zaricc and Jason Kosmos in "You Didn’t Hear It From Us: Two Bartenders Serve Women the Truth about Men, Making an Impression, and Getting What You Want") 

12. Dating specialists suggest that if a woman doesn’t return a call after two messages, she is not interested. (Victoria Zdrock in “How To Pick Up, Seduce, and Hook Up With Hot Women”)

Of course, as with all things, use your own discernment on which of these "facts" you believe and incorporate into your life.