2013 Holiday Sale On Books

When I started dating and the relationship became serious, my younger son questioned me: “How can I love Mr. X and still love my dad?”  I explained to my son that just because he was letting someone new into his heart, it didn’t mean he had to kick out any of the current residents. This allowed him to release his guilt about dishonoring his dad by loving someone new.

The truth is that the heart is an ever-expanding organ. There’s no set limit on how many people you can love. Let’s also remember that all love is unique to the particular relationship, so one doesn’t replace the other.

How to find love after loss (and all the confusing emotions that go alone with that) happens to be my area of specialty. If you need some coaching or want to read self-help books on this subject, please visit me on my website at http://www.LNGerst.com and click here to join me on Facebook for daily tips and thoughts about love, dating and the tenets of healthy relationships.

As a holiday special, I'm offering a deep discount on three of my books in an e-book format (PDF format).

Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story
$5.00 (normally $9.99 for Kindle and $14.95 in paperback)

Suddenly Single: How To Find Renewal After Loss
$5.00 (normally $9.99 for Kindle and $15.95 for paperback

Words of Comfort To Pave Your Journey of Loss
$3.00 (normally $3.95 for Kindle and $8.99 for paperback)

To Purchase Click on the Appropriate Link. 
To assure that you will receive the book by e-mail, add the address from which it will be coming to your address book: LNGerst@LNGerst.com

Special Holiday Pricing

Love After Loss $5.00 USD Suddenly Single $5.00 USD Words of Comfort $3.00 USD

More books available on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Review of Love After Loss

Diane Leifer said: A fabulous step-by-step guide on how to find love again after the loss of a partner from death, divorce or break-up. Ellen Gerst systematically guides you through the process of dealing with and healing from your loss, while clearly defining the necessary steps to take to find happiness in a new relationship. Her practical, concise writing style, combined with personal anecdotes, interesting quotes, poems and exercises creates a very uplifting and emotionally exciting read. I found the chapters on self-refection extremely valuable, as it's clearly the key to recognizing how you have changed now that you are newly single. Gaining this insight and understanding of the 'new you' is essential before you launch yourself into the world of dating. The book suggests that readers ask themselves many key questions, which can help clearly define what they are looking for in their next relationship, and then reflect upon the answers. This new sense of self plus understanding what is now important are the vital ingredients of finding a new relationship. There are a number of chapters on the 'Rules and Tools' of dating which include excellent information on how to systematically and successfully delve in to the process of on-line dating. Ellen teaches the reader the 'new rules' on how to date and how to successfully build a relationship when the right person does appear. While the relationship may not look anything like you had imagined it would, your fresh understanding of your newly evolved 'self' has broadened your horizons and allowed happiness to return. Ellen Gerst gives you the confidence to get in touch with what is truly important to you with humor, introspection and a truly personal touch. I highly recommend "Love After Loss," as an excellent guide for those who are seriously interested in finding and developing a new relationship.

Reviews of Words of Comfort

Audrey Pellicano said: As a widow and a Grief Recovery Specialist, I found Ellen's latest work to be clear and true to it's title. Ellen shares her deepest emotions and offers a guide to anyone lost in grief after the death of a loved one. She dispels some of the myths around grief and offers words of comfort and tools to apply to your life as you go forward on your grief journey. She truly offers words of wisdom to those in need. I will recommend "Words of Comfort to Pave Your Journey of Loss" to my widowed clients.

Ellen Kamp of The W Connection said: Ellen Gerst has written a sensitive and practical guide about adapting to the realities of widowhood. She addresses many of the challenges that widows deal with and provides her own experiences as guideposts for navigating these challenges. It is easy to read and is a book that one can go back to over and over again for advice. As the President and Co-founder of a non profit organization dedicated to helping widows rebuild their lives, The W Connection, I have already recommended this book to a member looking for ways to get "unstuck". I highly recommend this book to widows as well as the non-widowed.

10 Ways To Have an A+ Date

Dating is supposed to be fun. If you don’t see it that way, you’re most likely facing disappointment before you even begin. 

As in every endeavor in life, attitude is of paramount importance. The universe is a giant mirror and whatever you project out will be reflected back to you. If you leave your house anticipating that your date will end badly then it most certainly will. Before embarking on your date, set your intention to have fun. Additionally, slap a smile on your face and project a warm and welcoming aura. These three things alone will exponentially increase the chances of having a successful date. 

Here are 10 more tips to help you succeed. 

 1. Be on time. This is simply a show of respect. Besides, no one likes to be kept waiting, especially if it’s the first time you’re meeting someone. Even if you’re a couple of minutes late, feelings of insecurity can set in and your date might feel like he/she is being stood up. This can set the tone for the entire evening, and it’s not a relaxed one. 

2. Keep your alcohol consumption in check. Even though you might be nervous and a drink will relax you, don’t consume more than one glass of alcohol. A drunk date is not an attractive date. Additionally, alcoholic beverages are expensive, and it’s not polite to have your date expend a lot of money on you, especially if this is a just get-to-know-you type of meeting. 

3. Offer to share the cost. To follow up on point #2, it’s also polite to share the cost of the evening. The offer doesn’t have to be accepted, but it’s a nice gesture and is indicative of your attitude about carrying your fair share in a relationship. 

4. Leave your prior relationships at home. A first date is not the time and place to rehash your entire life and talk about how an ex has done you wrong or how a late spouse was a saint with whom no one can compete. There certainly shouldn’t be any crying or ranting about past relationships. 

5. Clean up for your date. Again, this is a show of respect. Take time with your grooming and dress appropriately for the venue. 

6. Inquiring minds want to know, but don’t interrogate. A date is about having a conversation, which includes questions and answers. However, you can show an interest in what someone is saying without having it sound like a police interrogation. 

7. Be flexible. Go with the flow. Try something you’ve never tasted. Participate in an activity new to you, even if there is a chance it might be awkward. This is called being a good sport, and it will be noted and appreciated. 

8. Keep your sense of humor. The ability to laugh with each other and at yourself makes for a pleasant and relaxing atmosphere. Laughter encourages good feelings about the other person. 

9. Know when to end the date. Even if it’s love at first sight, don’t drag the date out forever. Let both parties leave with an urgency to see each other again. 

10. Let your feelings be known. No one is a mind reader and no one likes being rejected. If you liked someone and want to see him/her again, leave broad enough hints without cornering your date into making an on-the-spot decision whether he/she would like to continue the relationship. Send a text or an e-mail the next day to thank your date and let him/her know that you’re open to exploring the idea of getting to know each other. 

In conclusion, the way to have an A+ first date is make the meeting fun, easy and stress-free. Come to it free of expectations and then whatever the result, it will be a positive one. 

For more tips on dating and relationships, like the Love After Loss Facebook page. 

For more in depth tips and thoughts on love, dating and relationships, check out the selection of relationship books I’ve written. Books on other subjects, such as coping with grief, spirituality, the power of positive thought, how to build confidence, caregiving for aging parents, fitness and weight loss, social media for entrepreneurs and teen pregnancy prevention, may be found here. 

1. Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story 

2. Mastering The Art of Intimate Relationships

3. How To Find Your Happily Ever After: What To Do Before and After You Say "I Do"

4. Available Choices for Dating After 35+

5. 25 Tips and Thoughts on Love and Relationships 

6. Understanding Dating and Relationships From A to Z

7. Today Is The Day: A Dating Journey

If You Want To Be Terrific, You Need To Be Specific (series of 3 books) 
1. How To Heal Your Heart After A Relationship Has Ended 
2. How To Date With Success 
3. How To Enhance Your Relationship 

6 Ways To Cultivate The Culture of Your Relationship

According to Webster, the word culture is defined as follows. 

1. the act of developing the intellectual and moral faculties especially by education 

2. the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization 

3. the act or process of cultivating living material 

Just as you might experience a corporate culture in your professional life, your relationship also has a culture, which is developed (or cultured/cultivated) by the actions of the participants. 

Here are six ways to culture your culture so it becomes a healthy breeding ground for friendship, love, respect and honor. 

1. Choose well. This is the most important. Take the time to choose the right partner. Don’t rush into a relationship because you’re lonely or want to be rescued from the circumstances of your life. You must “rescue” yourself. Learn to be happy on your own and then seek a partner that can enhance your already wonderful life. 

2. Practice your communication skills. You were given two ears and one mouth. That should be your first tip-off that you should listen twice as much as you talk. Practice active listening instead of just waiting your turn to jump in and express your thoughts. 

3. Don’t let little annoyances fester. Oftentimes, if you find yourself continually clamping your mouth shut over a behavior that really sets you on edge. This little annoyance can turn into something bigger than it needs to be. Ask your partner if he or she would have time to discuss something. This way you’re not cornering him/her without any warning. When in a calm state of mind, discuss your grievance and provide alternative ways of handling the same issue. This turns a potential argument into a productive session where partners can reach a compromise. 

4. Find the balance between your personal and professional lives. Often, every part of your life demands attention and equal time. Unfortunately, there is no “equal” time. At times, you must devote all your energies to your job, for example, when you have a big presentation looming in front of you. Other times, you must forego work to attend your child’s athletic game or school performance. As with all circumstances in life, you need to get your priorities in order and decide which area will get your focus at what time. Family members need to be accommodating and flexible. If you’re a family unit, you have the same goals and each person needs to do his/her own job, which may include being a support person only. 

5. Honor your differences. I’m not a big fan of opposites being in a relationship because it seems to make everything twice as hard. However, I also don’t believe you need to be clones of each other either. With core values in common, along with a shared rhythm of life, each partner goes out into the world and brings back interesting information to share. Sometimes, one will be the teacher and the other the student, and, at other times, vice versa. Balance is all about shifting the focus back and forth, and this creates the days of your life. 

6. Learn from the past, focus on the present; keep an eye on the future. Rather than repeating ingrained patterns that have not served you well in the past, glean the lessons to make beneficial changes. Enjoy the present by living in gratitude for what you have vs. what you feel is missing. The act of always wanting more leads to discontentment in the present. While it’s important to keep an eye on the future and plan accordingly, the present is all we really have. Appreciate the one you’re with while you have the time to do so. Learn to love and accept your partner’s love unreservedly. That’s the answer to why we are here on Earth.