Heed The Messages

It's important to listen to yourself and to others. 

The universe is constantly sending you messages AND

putting opportunities in your path, 

but if you're not paying attention, you will miss them.

1. When dating, although it's simply rude not to respond to someone's inquiries (by phone, text or email), that person is sending you a message nevertheless. If he/she WERE interested, you can be assured that you would get a reply ... probably sooner than later. Heed the message and move on.

2. To find happiness and fulfillment, listen to your inner drumbeat and walk at that pace.

3. Be patient when searching for love. Desperation never catches anything healthy.

4. Life is so much easier when you expend the energy to be "nice" to others vs. letting petty annoyances ruin your day. Listen to billboard message! Say hello first and see what happens.

Click here to visit Ellen Gerst's page on Amazon.com to view her books on dating, relationships and more.

Dating Tips: Y is for You

While participating in the dating game, as well as in many other situations in life, it’s easy to have your feelings bruised. Most often, this happens when the words and actions of others are taken more personally than intended. 

Of course, in the midst of a personal interaction, it may be difficult to avoid feeling this way. 

Over the course of a dating career, you will meet lots of new people, each with their own agenda, and it is one they are probably NOT sharing with you during the first few interactions. Consequently, you have no idea what they are really thinking. 

While you may believe a date went swimmingly and the two of you are headed for a happily ever after, your date may be just looking for a good time. 

If you ass-u-me that your date is more interested than he really is and, thus, make an innocent remark about your future together, you can scare him away. Chances are he will disappear, never to be heard from again. You are left wondering what YOU did wrong. 

The truth is that you did nothing wrong because this incident wasn’t about you. It was about your date’s inability to express himself honestly and his fear of commitment.

If you encounter this scenario, or another similar one, don’t waste your energy beating yourself up or pine for this person to return. Just say NEXT! 

If you let every rejection or slight throw you off track, you will have a difficult time with the dating scene. Simply keep in mind that everything is not about you!

The preceding is an excerpt from my book, Understanding Dating and Relationships From A to Z, which is available via Amazon. Click on the title to see more about it.  Here are the other subjects covered in the book about which you can learn.

From A to Z: Ageist, Behaved Well, Cerebral, Deceptive, Egocentric, Fear, Genital Health, Hesitant, Imaginative, Juvenile, Knight in Shining Armor, Lust, Monopolizer, Noncommittal, Optimistic, Platinum Rule, Questioner, Rebound Relationship, Stymied, Tenacious, Uncompromising, Virgin (Born Again), Wary, eXcessive, You, Zero-Tolerance.

7 Tips For When You Join an Online Dating Site

Anyone can join an online dating site and post a profile. However, if you want to have a successful dating experience with said site, heed the following 7 simple tips. 

1. Carefully choose your “handle” or user name. As prospective dates peruse the available profiles, your name and picture are the first two things they will see. Don’t use a sexually provocative name, unless you are simply looking for a hook-up. For privacy issues, if you don’t want to use your name, try to come up with something that is representative of your personality. When I was dating, I either used Nelle (Ellen backwards) or LN (say it aloud and it’s Ellen). No one ever guessed my real name until I told them and then it became a conversation point. 

2. Upload a good picture. Make sure your picture is not outdated or so fuzzy that a person cannot make out your features. Moreover, the picture should just be of you. That means no group shots or cropped out old boy/girlfriends where only an arm or a leg is visible. No pictures of kids or dogs; save that for later. 

3. Write a strong personal message. Many of the sections on a dating profile are structured where you only get to check boxes or choose from a predetermined list. Your personal message is where you get to shine and let prospective dates know who you are and for the type of person and life you’re looking. 

4. Don’t leave any sections empty or fail to list your requirements. Don’t be afraid to state what you want. For example, if you only want to date those who are of the same religious persuasion, then don’t waste the time of those who are not. 

5. If you’re serious about finding a partner, join a dating site vs. simply uploading your profile in the free membership program. If you don’t join, you can’t contact anyone you may find interesting nor can you answer anyone’s e-mails to you. Free member profiles usually don’t show up on the beginning pages of searches, and many who are looking never make it past the first few pages. Consequently, you may never get seen. 

6. Be an active member on a dating site. Login often and see who’s online and to see if there are any new members who recently joined. Send messages, winks and the like to members who look interesting. Most likely, they will be flattered and at least acknowledge your contact. 

7. Online chatting is also a conversation and should be treated as such. Conversation means that you don't hog the spotlight and you show interest in what the other person has to say. For example, you can make comments about a picture by saying it’s a nice setting. This leaves room for the other person to talk about where the picture was taken or something else about it, such as hiking if it’s one of a mountain.

Click for 9 more tips on how to date with success.

For books that can assist you with strategies to help heal your heart, date with success and enhance a new or current relationship, check out my series of three books, If You Want To Be Terrific, You Need To Be Specific.

Click here to purchase 50 Tips on How To  Heal  Your Heart

Click here to purchase 50 Tips on How To Date With Success

Click here to purchase 35 Tips on How To Enhance Your Relationship