Finding Love After Loss: 7 Tips For When You Join an Online Dating Site

Anyone can join an online dating site and post a profile. However, if you want to have a successful dating experience with said site, heed the following 7 simple tips.

1. Carefully choose your “handle” or user name. As prospective dates peruse the available profiles, your name and picture are the first two things they will see. Don’t use a sexually provocative name, unless you are simply looking for a hook-up. For privacy issues, if you don’t want to use your name, try to come up with something that is representative of your personality. When I was dating, I either used Nelle (Ellen backwards) or LN (say it aloud and it’s Ellen). No one ever guessed my real name until I told them and then it became a conversation point.

2. Upload a good picture. Make sure your picture is not outdated or so fuzzy that a person cannot make out your features. Moreover, the picture should just be of you. That means no group shots or cropped out old boy/girlfriends where only an arm or a leg is visible. No pictures of kids or dogs; save that for later.

3. Write a strong personal message. Many of the sections on a dating profile are structured where you only get to check boxes or choose from a predetermined list. Your personal message is where you get to shine and let prospective dates know who you are and for the type of person and life you’re looking.

4. Don’t leave any sections empty or fail to list your requirements. Don’t be afraid to state what you want. For example, if you only want to date those who are of the same religious persuasion, then don’t waste the time of those who are not.

5. If you’re serious about finding a partner, join a dating site vs. simply uploading your profile in the free membership program. If you don’t join, you can’t contact anyone you may find interesting nor can you answer anyone’s e-mails to you. Free member profiles usually don’t show up on the beginning pages of searches, and many who are looking never make it past the first few pages. Consequently, you may never get seen.

6. Be an active member on a dating site. Login often and see who’s online and to see if there are any new members who recently joined. Send messages, winks and the like to members who look interesting. Most likely, they will be flattered and at least acknowledge your contact.

7. Online chatting is also a conversation and should be treated as such. Conversation means that you don't hog the spotlight and you show interest in what the other person has to say. For example, you can make comments about a picture by saying it’s a nice setting. This leaves room for the other person to talk about where the picture was taken or something else about it, such as hiking if it’s one of a mountain.

Click for 9 more tips on how to date with success.

For books that can assist you with strategies to help heal your heart, date with success and enhance a new or current relationship, check out my series of three books, If You Want To Be Terrific, You Need To Be Specific.