Finding Love After Loss: "To Be" vs "To Do" Energy

In his unique way of looking at the world, George Carlin once said, "I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?"

As we all know, it is much easier to talk about what you know you need to do in order to move forward in your life than to actually do it. It is good to utilize your "to be" energy while planning your agenda on how to move toward your goals; however, you must step into your "to do" energy to make things happen.

"To Be" energy is feminine in nature while "To Do" energy is regarded as masculine. In truth, both men and women possess both of these energies and they are called upon as necessary. For example, if you are a single woman who lost a partner, chances are you have utilized a lot of masculine energy to make hard decisions and complete chores that you had not attempted before your loss. The same goes for the single man who is without a partner. If he has children, through his nurturing, he is providing both the feminine and masculine energy to them.

Another example is that a woman might appreciate a man who shows a softer side. A man might appreciate a woman who shows a stronger, independent side. This is simply each person exhibiting different energies in different situations.

Part of our karma, or job in this lifetime, is to find the place where these two energies are in balance, both in our relationship with self and our relationships with others. Striving for balance, while recognizing the duality of our natures, is what allows for soul growth. And it is soul growth that allows us to move closer towards enlightenment and to understand whether we are reacting or responding to the circumstances in front of us. (Excerpt from The Other Side of The Vail: Spiritual Guidance for Everyday Living)

In our relationships with others, we must always remember that balance doesn't necessarily mean 50/50. It is a rare occasion when everything is equal between partners. It is striving for that perfect balance -- the wavering back and forth -- that creates the fabric of our lives. Additionally, we must let down societal conventions that tell the man to be strong and that the woman is to be taken care of. 

In the modern world, partners must take care of each other. More importantly, each partner must LET the other take care of him or her without feeling weak or powerless. This is what constitutes equality in a relationship -- being able to give AND to receive so that each of the partners may play the appropriate role for individual circumstances.