Observing the Observer

Here is one more lesson from The Way of the Wizard, Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want by Deepak Chopra.

"While listening to music, turn to the one who is hearing,
or if you happen to see a rainbow, catch sight of the one who is seeing.
In these cases, you will immediately sense awareness ... (that is) intensely alive."

This is an exercise that may assist you in finding out something about your true self. Instead of simply completing the act of observation, you can concurrently watch the observer, allowing you to get a different perspective. In reality, you are simultaneously acting, observing, and observing the observing.

For quite a while after my first husband's death, I felt as if my life were a movie and I merely an observer rather than a participant. It was a very surreal experience and took a lot of effort to step back into the world and "join up" again.

Experiencing the depths of grief is a sometimes isolating event. It is in this isolation that deep self-introspection can take place. I felt I learned so much in the time period when I stood apart from the normal activities of life. It allowed me to formulate positive changes I could incorporate as I moved forward in my new life.

In an attempt to understand how I was feeling, I wrote the following ...

I am an observer of my own life.
I watch in the shadows as I love, live and laugh.

I am a blank screen,
observing my emotions, actions and reactions.

I do not act
I sit and wait for my counterpart to engage the world.

But I am ever present --
A safe harbor in which retreat is found.

It is one's inner core of strength that is called upon in times of despair and grief, and this core helps to form the pillars of this safe harbor to which one can retreat and regroup so as to face another day without his or her loved one.